Five Minute Friday: Friend

"No extreme editing; no worrying about perfect grammar, font, or punctuation. 

Unscripted. Unedited. Real."

Prompt Word: Friend

That person you reach for when your emotions run high. 

The phone call you can make anytime day or night. 

The comfort of knowing that someone cares unconditionally.

That person who chooses to be there for you time after time, even when they can see that your going to crash and burn. 

That person who could be family if the genetics lotto had chosen people who were always meant to support each other to be family.

 A Friend.

This is the person I am missing in my life, that female friend I can tell anything too. That woman who cares for me past her own involvement in my life. The one who wants the details. That wants to hang out, get my phone call, support and be supported. That woman who has my back aways. 

Someone who puts me first in her friendship line. 

Someone to watch girly movies, drink wine and eat ice cream with when things go wrong. Or sit and have coffee with when a problem needs working out. Or connect over cocktails and celebrate together in any number of ways the milestones of our lives.

Birthdays, Holidays, Vacations, Girls Nights Out, secrets shared and histories swapped. 

But, somehow in twenty six years this female best friend has eluted me. Sure I’ve had female friends, and I was even lucky to once have a male best friend (till the end of high school), but none of my friendships with women have been lasting committed relationships

 ... none of them has wanted or needed a best-friend.

 And me, I’m getting to the point of loosing hope that I will find a female friend or even a small group of women to fill these needs. I desperately want to be this friend for someone and have the love I am willing to share be returned. 

I’m searching and waiting, but like with all things in my life not very patiently, to build a true friendship. For a woman who wants someone to be their best friend to come into my life and stay.

Five Minute Friday: Jump

  

So I'm going to try something new. I'm going to try writing for the sake of writing here on the blog as an out let, no information or guidance today, just raw unfiltered emotion.

The Deal:

One of my favorite bloggers is Lisa-Jo Baker and one of my favorite things to read is her real raw unedited posts Five Minute Fridays. So this week I "jumped" in and am starting to participate. I felt that the prompt today was just what I needed to remind me of what I need to do if I want to change where I am and the rut I was letting myself get stuck in.

So here it is just like she says; 

"No extreme editing; no worrying about perfect grammar, font, or punctuation. 

Unscripted. Unedited. Real."

Prompt Word: Jump

Live life to the fullest, don’t look just jump. 

Sure it’s scary as hell when you know you have a plan and want to stick to it but, if you don’t take the risk of a fall then you don’t take the opportunity to receive reward. We can plan to our hearts content, but if we don’t take the chance and jump into actual action we will never truly move forward. Never see where our planning could go, never reap any of the possibilities we have sown. 

Life is scary. Life is hard. But when you leap into the unknown and embrace the rush, this is life. This is living. Take the chance. Act like you have no one else to think about and jump into the world of possibilities. Show your passion for living. Allow no others to hold you back and keep you where you are. Life and living is about going forward, not just looking there but going, doing, being a part of today and tomorrow.

Have you been stuck?  If so jump. Take action. Move. Change. 

It’s not easy to jump but it is something we all need to do from time to time to keep us moving forward in life. If we don’t jump forward with gusto every once in a while we get stuck in the past and not enough in the right now. 

So jump friends, jump with your whole heart and embrace the possibility of the fall.

And with that action you just may find that you fly.

Pregnancy: Second Trimester Tips and Tricks

As promised a post on the second trimester.

Second Trimester tips and tricks.

Please remember that these are all things that worked for me but, may not work for you.

All medical and health advice should be run past your health care professional of choice.

So this is the trimester of real change. Your body starts to show others that your really on this journey and you will have a lot of decisions to make.

This trimester necessitated the buying of some new (to me) clothing. But, I was at a loss as to what I would really need. Sure there are all kinds of lists out there that tell you what you "must have", but I didn't have the budget or the fashion savvy to really get a lot of high end maternity stuff that I may or may not ever wear after this pregnancy.

My solution was to find a wonderful second hand maternity and baby store and learn a few tricks. I then picked up a short list of items to get me started. Then I picked up the rest of what I needed over time as I realized I needed them. I also continued to pull whatever I could from my previous closet for as long as I could.

My overall list at the end of the second and start of the third trimester looked like this.

Maternity clothing

Black sweater (second hand store) 

Purple sweater (second hand store)

Green sweater (from previous closet)

Black cardigan (from previous closet)

Long sleeve white tee (Target maternity section)

Black v neck tee (borrowed from sister)

Black polo tee (second hand store)

Purple crew neck tee (second hand store)

Graphic tropical tee (second hand store)

Teal tunic tee (from previous closet)

Gray pattern tunic tee (from previous closet)

Multi colored tunic tee (from previous closet)

Black dress pants (second hand store)

Black leggings (Target, one size up from normal)

Maternity jeans (bought online Motherhood Maternity)

Teal print dress (from previous closet)

Sweat suit (already had as gift from husband)

Soft night shirt (already had as gift to self)

La Leche League nursing bras. One sleep, one not (bought on sale through Zulily)

6 pairs of large soft stretchy boy-short underwear (Walmart, originally bought for hiking)

The only thing I would not buy again is the black polo tee, I never wear it and it just hangs there sadly. I always think I'm going to like a polo shirt but never really wear them. Lesson learned going forward I guess. Biggest things I wish I had is a nice white button down, a little black dress, and maybe a green tee instead of the black polo. Oh and more underwear, it is hard to get to the end of the wash week with what I have.

The next big to do was figuring out some parenting decisions and setting up (one or more) registries. 

For us we have made what I keep referring to as "the big three" parenting decisions early.  To me the big three choices you must make are:

"Feeding Choice, Waste Management, Sleeping Arrangements."

Once these are made you can start deciding what you need for baby and where you want to get them. 

Our personal decisions are that we want to try and go with:

 Breastfeeding, Cloth/G Diapers, and (at first) a bassinet. 

We ended up registering in two places for the convenance of other people. 

We chose Amazon and Babies R Us.

While there are tons of lists and guides to help with figuring out what you need for baby and how much gear to get we found that we wanted minimal amounts of things and did not want a lot of stuff taking over our house and limited vehicle space when we travel.  We also found lots of lists and lots of tips as we tried to condense things into a minimal amount of new baby stuff for a diaper bag as well. 

So "our minimal" baby preparedness registry looks like this. 

Home:

Diapers (cloth x 36)

Wipes (cloth x 40)

Spray-bottle

Wipe solution (home made)

 Diaper cream (cloth safe)

Diaper sprayer

Diaper Spray Pal

Large trashcan with lid

Big size wet bag (x2)

Nursing pillow with water proof shield and cover (x2)

Nursing stool

Nursing tank (x3 black, white, color?)

Water bottle

Nipple Cream (natural)

Booby Tubes (one set)

Nursing pads (one pack)

Itzbeen Timer (cause I love technology)

Burp cloths (minimum of x6)

Bassinet with veil

Sheets (x4)

Swaddle blankets (x3)

Receiving blankets (x4)

Heavy blanket

Lovie  and/or Pacie

Sound machine 

Thermometer (rectal is best)

Nail Clippers (with the helpful little magnifying glass so you can see)

Hooded towel

Baby washcloths (x4)

Bath kit

Bath toys (1, 2, 3)

Exercise ball and yoga floor mat

Graco's swing/bouncer combo

Graco's newborn bassinet and diaper changer Pack n Play

Wooden play-gym and floor mat

Play gym toys to rotate (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Tummy floor mat toys to rotate (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

other toys (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Bouncer that folds flat with toy bar

Jumper

Travel:

Sugar Snap Car- Go (to store in vehicle)

Change of clothing for; baby, mommy, and daddy

Diapers (x2)

Wipes, in case (x5)

Carseat (with extra base for 2nd vehicle)

Stroller with Adapter 

Baby Wrap or Carrier

Travel Crib

Activity Chair

Highchair 

Diaper Bag (any nice size bag/purse will work)

Sugar Snap Files (makes any bag a diaper bag)

Changing pad ( again helps make any bag a diaper bag)

Diapers (x2)

Wipes (x5)

Diaper Cream (the other jar)

Wet Bag small (for dirty clothing)

Wet Bag Medium (for dirty diapers)

Hand-sanitizer

Mini first aid kit

Tissues

Bottle of water

Mints

Snacks

Scarf (or other nursing cover)

1 set of the breast pad pack above

 Wallet

Burp cloths (x3)

Swaddle blanket (this is where the 4th one from the pack of 4 disappeared to)

Stroller/ Carseat blanket

Ground blanket

Sophie and/or other toys of choice

Lovie and/or Pacie

Nap-time sound machine

Board book of choice

Other than that we didn't do a lot in the second trimester, but we did do a lot in the third trimester so stay tuned for another update on that soon!

Pregnancy Update

Welcome to week 26 and a quick pregnancy update. 

 So, baby was more cooperative with our second ultrasound (well third if you count the dating ultrasound).  We were able to see all the things that the tech wanted to see and find out that everything is still going well with baby.  

During our monthly appointment this month we found out that baby is still over achieving on growth. The midwifes have knocked my appointments down to every three weeks from every four. Also, I found out that I'm going to have to take my glucose test before/after the next appointment. Yummy, flat lemon lime soad-ish drink? I suppose they were nice enough to give me a choice of flavor and to tell me to chill it before drinking.

This month we also had our first inperson meeting with our doula, Christy. Lunch was productive and the yummy food was from Panara. The meeting went well which means that birthing classes are signed up for, contracts are signed, and checks have been written. 

Mommy group has been wonderful! I miss the interaction and other moms so much when I have to miss one of our Monday morning get togethers. It is so helpful to hear other moms talk about birth, diapering, breastfeeding, spouses, and life. I learn something at every meeting I get to, but am still hoping some other soon to be moms will join soon. I hope this so that I can start to get to know a few others who are in my boat. And we can talk a little more about the planning for baby and help each other to sooth some of the natural anxiety that comes with being a first time mommy.

Also, new this month the nursery has it's final coat of paint and is ready to start having cute baby things added to it! We painted it a mid gray color, a lot like the Behr color Pewter Mug #770E-3. This will hopefully be a nice neutral base letting either a little boy or little girl thrive as they grow up. We also got the screen door hung to keep the animals out of the nursery, but allow them to see into the room.

Pregnancy: First Trimester Tips and Tricks

Since posting about our pregnancy, I realized that I now have a lot of tips and tricks that I have tried and thought I would start up a new series to share some of what has been working for me.

First Trimester tips and tricks.

So, I want to start at the beginning of pregnancy and give you tips from there as we go along. 

Please remember that these are all things that worked for me but, may not work for you.

All medical and health advice should be run past your health care professional of choice.

So first things first, if you are looking at that positive pregnancy test do yourself a favor and take a quick photo. You may or may not ever show anyone that photo, but a photo is a better way to capture that memory than keeping a stick you peed on. And the stick fades after about two weeks anyway (don't ask how I know). This frist tip helps cut clutter right from the get go and your not buying a "preservation kit" for you pee stick (yes, they do exist).

Next, do not run out and buy stuff. Yes, for most of us this is the first instinct. There are really only a few things you will need right now. 

I managed my (admittedly, only intermittently and slightly) upset tummy with ginger-ale that had real ginger and with a small box of pregnancy tea. I also kept some crystalized ginger candy on hand but only used it a few times.

One of the top items that I found handy to have stocked at home and in my purse were tums. You may want more than one bottle as I used 2 bottles. 

The first thing I had to go buy for myself that I didn't have on hand was cranberry pills, this was due to the fact that at the very start of my pregnancy I had a urinary track infection. These pills, real cranberry juice and medication from my midwife took care of it nicely.

There were a few other things that did end up being handy those first few weeks. 

First of all, I could not breath at night those first few weeks without nose strips.  But, I would suggest only one box till you know if your nose is going to continue to be stuffy. Mine thankfully cleared up quickly. 

Which lead to my next issue. It seemed like after I swelled I leaked, in ways no one ever told me pregnant ladies can. So for that I used lots of fresh underwear (at about twice my normal rate) and wipes because I personally can not stand disposable panty liners and getting cloth was going to be supper expensive. Then when I wasn't leaking, I was having other bathroom issues those fist few weeks and ended up getting the okay and a schedule to use dulcolax from my midwife.

Two of the few other things I couldn't live without this pregnancy have been my reheat able hot pack and my ice pack.  I used the later to the point I'm going to need to replace it and have put it on my registry.

The only dietary changes I made once I knew I was pregnant was to change my daily snack to a protein bar and start drinking two extra cups of water. Bringing my total daily cups to 10.

To keep my skin clear I maintained my normal skincare routine. Morning cleansing followed by  moisturizer with sunscreen. Evening cleaning followed by my timeless skin moisturizer.

For that ever growing belly I started moisturizing at night before bed with one of my two normal body lotions. I recently was given a free 10 day trial of Mama Mio Tummy Butter and fell in love, but am saving up for a small container for my third trimester when I will be doing the most stretching.

That's it for tips and tricks in the first trimester! I'll try to be back with another post on second trimester topics soon, and then move on as I'm hitting the third!

New Year, New Life

Oh my, so much has happened since I last updated... lets see if I can catch everyone up quickly with this post and then try to be more regular in posting new content shall we?

The last time I updated content here at Graceful Pathways we were just starting our parenthood journey and we were unsure where it would take us or how long the trip would be.

We got very lucky was our answer.

On our first try in August of 2012 we conceived our first little one. 

However, we were unsure until late September that we had been successful. 

We then contacted our local midwifery group and a doula who had been recommended to us to get on their schedules. Our first appointment was made with the midwifes on October 2, 2012. 

The appointment went well and we were scheduled for our dating ultrasound on our 2nd anniversary, October 10, 2012. 

This was the day that we got to find out that we could expect our first little one around

May 18, 2013.

Hearing that first fetal heartbeat and seeing that tiny being moving around in my tummy was the most moving moment I have ever experienced. Until that moment life was all about me, my hopes, my dreams, my life. Now without question I was living and sustaining myself for another being. Seeing that tiny person inside me changed me and my outlook on life. It changed the way I saw my husband, our house, our animals, our life. We had truly created life. It was an amazing evening realizing we were truly on the road to becoming parents.

In November and December we had our normally scheduled monthly appointments with the midwives. I asked questions, got answers, got to hear the heartbeat on the doppler and enjoyed watching my belly grow.

In January we had our monthly appointment and our first anatomy ultrasound. The ultrasound was on January 2, 2013. This was the first time we got a sneak peek at the little ones personality. Baby is stubborn! The baby curled up tight in the upper right corner of my uterus and refused to move no matter what tricks the tech tried. This ment that although we got to know the sex of our baby we would have to come back to finish the scan with another ultrasound, hopefully on a day when baby will be in a better mood.

During our monthly appointment this month, with the information we did get from the scan, we learned many things. First of all my body has grown a very large uterus, it looks to be very healthy with plenty of extra room for our big baby. You see baby is in the 88th percentile for growth and is measuring about a week ahead of it's due date peers. So far that means a big, happy, and most likely healthy baby!

This month was also the month that we decided it was time to register for all that crazy baby stuff. There was an amazing variety of items on offer and tons of decisions to be made. Doing this and making these choices definitely made us feel like parents. 

Currently our plan is to breastfeed and cloth diaper, which helped us cut down on some of the items people seem to think that a baby will need.  

Also starting this month I joined a mommy group put on by our doula. I had a wonderful time meeting other new mommies and babies. I made me excited to get to meet my own little one in May. While things were a little awkward to start with it is to be expected with it being a brand new group. And without question there is tons of potential for some long term friendships. 

My first steps into motherhood

"Making the decision to have a child it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go outside your body" ~ Elizabeth Stone

We have been blessed and lucky.

We are expecting our first child sometime in early May if everything goes well.

Being all of eight weeks pregnant I have little advice to give others, but I sure do have a long list of things that I wish someone had let me in on prior to getting pregnant.

Like:

Why did no one really explain the aching tender masses that my boobs would become?

Why did no one tell me that my uterus would take over my lower abdomen by force causing pain in every smooth ligament I own there?

Why did no one mention the overwhelming need to sleep a gazillion hours a day?

Why did no one tell me that despite this sleep I would still feel tired all the time?

And Why didn't some one tell me that the first appointment would include my pap and a blood draw?

Lucky for me I was able to get into my first midwife appointment already and confirm that everything seems to be going fine. However, I was disappointed by the literature that I was given. It had an extremely condescending tone which was the opposite of the words and actions of my midwife. Guess that I will be buying a few of my own baby books and using the internet for information.

Also I will be going for a dating ultrasound soon. This is so that we can have an accurate "due date".

I have long cycles of 39-47 days, meaning I also don't have the same ovulation schedule as those who have regular 30 day cycles. We know the date that I was likely ovulating and our midwife is currently using that date instead of the start date of my last period to give us our "due date". At least until we get our dating ultrasound in.

Here is to our new adventure "Motherhood".