Mother's Day

A photo of our first Mother's Day.

This first year was harder than I thought it would be.

It was tougher, rougher, and yet brought me so much more joy than I could have imagined.

 This little girl is amazing every single day, even on the ones when she makes me want to pull my hair out by the roots rather than listen to one more whining scream.

The cuteness, the love, and the smiling laughs make it the best paid job in the world.

Five Minute Friday: Small

"No extreme editing; no worrying about perfect grammar, font, or punctuation. 

Unscripted. Unedited. Real."

Prompt Word: Small

Ten little fingers and ten tiny toes
It has been a wonder to see how fast she grows

She was born and my life changed
It both shrank and it grew

The sleep is sneaking back into my nights

The sweetest of giggles has started to fill up my days

Rolling over has become our new form of play

I am seeing old things for the first time

With a perspective so new

Who knew that adding one thing so small

Could change my whole world view

Five Minute Friday: Story

"No extreme editing; no worrying about perfect grammar, font, or punctuation. 

Unscripted. Unedited. Real."

Prompt Word: Story

There are the parts we share openly. The words known by many told easily without hesitation. Shared with little reservation and held as public knowledge by those who seek you. 

The parts we share with a close few. Held deeper in the heart. Told in soft whispers over a glass of wine, cup of coffee, or bowl of ice cream. Things that hurt to say but help us heal with the telling.

Then there are the parts that hurt to tell. Held so tight that only those we know on the deepest level are allowed to see, if anyone is allowed to see our shadow parts at all.

But, it takes all of these parts to tell our true story. All of these bits make up the character of you. Each of us has a unique tail to tell in this life, so keep your head up and try to come to peace with all of the parts to your story.

Five Minute Friday: Broken

"No extreme editing; no worrying about perfect grammar, font, or punctuation. 

Unscripted. Unedited. Real."

Prompt Word: Broken

Our collective outlook on women’s healthy bodies is broken. 

We see the size zero models and berate ourselves for not looking like them. They are held up as an impossible ideal. Tv and movie stars don’t make things any easier. 

As a society we fat shame and slut shame. We brake down others to make sure that we  propitiate self hate and the commercial ideal of beauty. All this so women will feel insecure and try to buy their beauty.

But the broken thing is we can’t buy beauty, you have to own it. You have to have confidence in your body and looks, something that is hard to do when all of society is trying to tell you that your not “pretty” enough, “small” enough, “fit” enough. 

Well I say enough is enough ladies. 

It is time we take back the ideal. 

It’s time we tell each other that we are beautiful because we are. Each in our own unique way that we each need to own our beauty and show it to the world. We need to build each other up, take the compliments, and start the healing.

Yes, we are broken. But, we can fix this one positive thought and confident example at a time.

Five Minute Friday: In Between

"No extreme editing; no worrying about perfect grammar, font, or punctuation. 

Unscripted. Unedited. Real."

Prompt Word: In Between

That time when things are quite and I have a moment or more to be myself. 

Those times when there isn’t a diaper to be changed, a nursing session in progress, or little one in need of holding.

This is the time when I am regaining the feeling of being me. Reading, Writing, Listening to music, finding time to worship and more. It is when I am reuniting with the person I have been before becoming a mother. It is these moments that I grow more comfortable in my ability to be and live.

This is also the time when I contemplate life. Where I am in it. Where my little family is in it. Where my extended family is in it. I question how we will face the new challenges we have been handed. 

This is the time that I contemplate the why and unfairness of life. 

The shortness of our time together no matter how long it is. 

This is the time when I fall apart and put myself back together before I am needed again to move forward in life. Needed to be present and in full gear without a shadow of my fear showing on my face, no trace of how I feel in my moments in between. 

Five Minute Friday: Rhythm

"No extreme editing; no worrying about perfect grammar, font, or punctuation. 

Unscripted. Unedited. Real."

Prompt Word: Rhythm

One month. So fast and so slow...

Fast in the heart of a new mama who has spent years wishing and hoping for this season of life.

Slow are the days and hours filled with a new routine that has a completely different rhythm

 from the dance done in days past. 

So quickly things have changed, but I would not change them back for anything. 

I will take the early mornings and broken sleep, inorder to burry my nose in newborn little girl hair. 

I will feed and change and bounce, to see my little girl smile and coo. 

I will not wish away these days no matter the dance they bring. 

Bring on the new rhythm and let us learn this dance daughter, 

together we will not just get by in this season of life we will thrive. 

Five Minute Friday: Listen

"No extreme editing; no worrying about perfect grammar, font, or punctuation. 

Unscripted. Unedited. Real."

Prompt Word: Listen

I’m straining, trying so hard to hear the rise and fall of that little chest without peaking into the bassinet. 
Please, please let her be asleep, but only asleep. Just for a little while longer.

Let me hear the sounds of her life for as long as there is breath in me. 

There, there it is ... the crunching of tires on gravel, reinforcements have arrived. 

Full of love and laughter, freedom and food. They don’t know that this sleepy mama really needed them desperately today, they just wanted to see the baby. But, thats okay cause it means a chance to sit still and breath for mama and maybe just maybe a precious nap till it’s time to nurse again.

Reassurance pours from the man in my life,
 and I cling to the words he says trying to listen with my whole heart and believe. 

You’re a good mom. 

She is lucky to have you. 

She loves you.